Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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