If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
