We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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