is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
