its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
