Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Randomize
