like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
