I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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