So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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