you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
