I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize
