i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
