And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
