Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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