Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
