so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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