In the future we'll all be gay
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
