Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
