I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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