Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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