Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
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He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
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All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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