Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
