I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
