You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
