Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
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Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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