woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
