she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
