I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
