im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
When are your genitals available?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
