Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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