you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
