ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
