you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
