We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
someone get that fucking seahorse.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
