Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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