some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize