I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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