hell yes lets make some ravioli
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
