You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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