She is in my trunk
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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