So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
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