dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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