We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
