So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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