Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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