why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
