4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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