I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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