that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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