maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
So squirting runs in the family.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
