That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
