i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
