too bad you live with your parents still
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
