Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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