I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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