This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
