so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Randomize
