Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
