I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
