maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
