Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
