Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
