How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
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Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
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I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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